Journal entries from fresh off the race

A page from my journal, on the day I left Guatemala. 

June 5th, 2021

As I look to the left and right in the airport, before I get on my last flight home, I realize my squad is not there, I realize I’m by myself for the first time in five months. I realize that I’m not in Guatemala, but in a place where everyone can understand me. I was constantly praying over this next season, not realizing that before it I blinked and it was here. The Lord constantly was speaking its going to be hard, but if you keep your eyes on me , I will guide you through it. A deeper trust with the Lord in this season. As I was getting on that plane, I realized I wasn’t ready to go back, that I wanted more time, that this is harder than I ever thought it could be. 

Im sitting in my seat, I put my ear buds in , and the song “my soul sings” comes on, this song is one that constantly and will forever remind me of my race and how I will always point every bit of it to the Lord. He has been so good, and with all my heart I will always say I love Him. While this song was on repeat in my ear, tears are flowing down my face. I start thinking, The Lord didn’t have to call me to the race, but He wanted to. Im dancing on the rising sun, because of the Lords goodness. Like, thank you Jesus, thank you for this season that makes it so hard to say goodbye it changed me completely and I know I couldn’t of down any of this with him, thank you Jesus, that you write the story and not me. 

June 7th 

It’s just a little different: So, I made it back to where it all started. You can flush your toilet paper, you don’t have to wear a mask anywhere. I have a couch that I call my own and a room with my name on it. I have a fridge with plenty of food in it. I have access to clean water, ALL THE TIME. The wifi, is fastest I have ever seen it. I have an abundance of clothes in my closet that I forgot I had. Some of me is so excited to be home, but the other part of me, just wishes I didn’t have any of it. Learning to re-enter into the place you grew up is hard, its like culture shock I’ve never experienced before. But, the Lord has me here, so what does it look like to continue to grow and live in the same things, the Lord has started in me. 

June 10th

Now, thats when trying, means failing too: I could tell you that this week has been the best wee ever, but I would be lying. It’s been hard I’ve had to fight for my time with the Lord. Now that I’m back in the place that I grew up, all the things that used to distract me before are coming back to steal my attention. I would chose to sit and watch Netflix, instead of reading my bible, thats not me, I continue to say to myself. Im learning to bring everything I’ve learned and have grown in and bringing that into the place that knew the old me, but not this new person of myself that the Lord has created. I would go days without reading my bible, this isn’t me. I have to fight for what the Lord wants for the day, instead of what I want. I had to often catch my self, saying no to things I would of definitely of said yes too. Things I thought would be good for me, but wouldn’t bring life to me, and wouldn’t glorify the Lord.  Thanks God, for reminding me everyday, that all I need is YOU!

June 12th

Its really great here, One thing that I absolutely love is the people that keep coming back into my life. The community has been incredible back home. Thanks God for a life , where I get to do it with other people that love you as well. 

Wow God, thank you Jesus for this next season that I get to be in. And a big thank you to the one reading this as well. Thank you for continuing to be apart of this life that the Lord has me living! I cant wait to announce some more amazing things that the Lord has me doing, announcements coming soon!! Love you my people, talk to you soon!